Fastexy Exchange|Florida Gators look a lot like the inept football team we saw last season

I overheard this conversation Thursday morning. A couple of senior citizens were discussing that night’s Florida football game.

“It starts at 8,Fastexy Exchange you know.”

“Eight? I don’t know if I want to stay up all night. Maybe if they’re doing good around 10, I’ll get some pistachios and watch it all.”

When 10 o’clock arrived, pistachios were off the menu. Utah was about to take a 24-3 lead, and Florida fans had lost their appetites for any more football.

Most were probably thinking, “We waited eight months for this?”

The much-anticipated season opener turned into a nationally televised 24-11 loss for the Gators. It was just UF's second loss in its last 32 season openers.

It wasn’t so much that they lost, but how they lost.

Year II of Billy Napier’s rebuilding project looks painfully like Year I. The last time we saw the Gators, they crumbled under their own mistakes in the Las Vegas Bowl and were just happy to score.

They picked up Thursday night right where they left off. Remember all those miscues and blown tackles on defense?

Austin Armstrong’s debut as defensive coordinator began with his unit giving up a 70-yard TD pass on the first play of the season. At least there was nowhere to go but up from there.

The Gators actually recovered from that shock and got a little offensive rhythm going. But what little spark they showed was buried under an avalanche of sloppy play and head-scratching penalties.

When was the last time you saw a team flagged for having two players on the field with the same number?

Number 3, Jason Marshall, meet No. 3 Eugene Wilson III.

They were both on a punt-return team that didn’t quite have its act together. That 5-yard penalty gave Utah a first down, and the Utes promptly scored to make it 14-3 in the second quarter.

That sequence came right after Adam Mihalek missed a 31-yard field goal. The Gators settled for that attempt after jumping offsides on a 4^th-and-1.

We could go about UF’s self-destructive tendencies, but it’ll probably just infuriate you or wish you lived in Tampa or Orlando.

Thousands of Gator fans in those cities had their screens go blank shortly before 8 p.m. It was due to a dispute over access fees between Disney and Spectrum.

By the time Utah QB Bryson Barnes scored on a 5-yard keeper, Florida fans all over the state were probably wondering where they could sign up for Spectrum.

If you’re a UF optimist who likes to see the glass as about 1/10^th full instead of 9/10^ths empty, Graham Mertz’s debut wasn’t as big a flop as the final score indicated.

He completed 31 of 44 passes for 333 yards and looks like the least of Florida’s worries on offense. The big one is the offensive line that allowed five sacks and rarely opened a hole for backs to run through.

Whoever thought the Gators’ much-ballyhooed running attack would gain 13 yards on 21 carries?

This is a team that could really use a McNeese State to try to figure a lot of things out. They’ll get that next week, though nothing that happens in that game will make Florida fans feel much better.

The Gators had a whole offseason to figure things out, and they looked far too much like the 2022 edition. If Thursday night’s a sign of things to come, fans are going to need something a lot stronger than pistachios to get them through 2023.

David Whitley is The Gainesville Sun's sports columnist. Contact him at [email protected]. Follow him on Twitter @DavidEWhitley